There are a lot of things in our lives that we cling to emotionally. There are things in our society that we find important enough to have a general expectation of remembrance for. Most of these things are important events. The date of our wedding. Our birthdays. Graduation dates. The date of a significant religious conversion or ceremony.
Then there are those dates that are significant to us personally that mean absolutely nothing to anybody else in our society or even the world. The date of a first kiss. The first time you wrote a program on your own. The date you made a life-changing decision that would alter the entire future of your reality. Yesterday is the anniversary of such a date for me. I don’t want to get into all the details for a multitude of reasons; however, I did want to take a moment to make a public note of what is probably the most important event in my life and the consequences thereof.
Two years and one day ago I chose to start dating Katie. This choice was by far the single most amazing and correct choice of my life. If there is nothing else that I ever accomplish in my life I will be able to die knowing that I have accomplished the most important thing in my life and I have found the only companion that is right for me and understands me better than I understand myself. It is reassuring to know that no matter how hard life gets or what is thrown at me, I have the one person that is by my side that I can always depend on and who will always love me for who I am and what I want to be.
In the midst of all this amazing fairy-tale life that I have found though there are bound to be complications. Life does not happen without it’s consequences. For me the past two years have been the hardest financial times of my life. And although they have been the hardest times for me financially, I still am grateful to have enough to get by and be able to be with my family. Katie and I made a very difficult choice to face financial hardship and forego many of the niceties of life in order to have our daughter be near our family. I honestly can say that although I constantly worry about meeting financial obligations and struggle to ensure that my family is taken care of I have never been happier in my life. And I suppose to me that that is the purpose of life. To be able to be in the worst situations and still smile because you know that the one thing that matters is right there beside you.
As I tweeted about some of the emotional consequences of wondering when life will calm down and just let me exist in happiness I had a short interaction with one of my tweeps. It was reassuring to be reminded that life is what we perceive it to be and what we make of it. Although I may not be able to find the easy way through life in terms of finances, I have what I want the most out of it. I have been able to place my family before money and in turn have been able to ensure that my family is with those whom matter most even if we will not be able to own a house for many years of buy a new car. In due time finances will work themselves out. The time that Paisley and Katie can have with our family would have been lost forever. In a world where money drives our society and our social classes it may seem insane to take more than a 40% paycut in order to live geographically near those who matter to us, but I would put forward that the emotional benefits far outweigh those of the financial benefits and that our society has a different measurement of success and happiness than I do.
As a result of all this I just wanted to thank Steve Swedler for helping to remind me of my perception of life and why it is that I should be happy in spite of the current circumstances. For no matter how hard things may get, I will always have the one thing that matters the most to me. I love you Katie (and Paisley too). Thanks for always being there for me and loving me no matter where we are or what we have to do to get by.
Lastly, I wanted to be sure to add a minor bit of humor. It just so happens that as Swedler and I were exchanging tweets we had some great timing amongst James Archer’s tweets that resulted in the following appeared conversation:
PS – I apologize if there are any major grammatical errors or a loss of thought in this post. Generally I try to post in solitude to avoid distractions and keep things on a specific track but tonight this post accumulated in bits and pieces over a period of hours as we watched a movie together. My apologies again.