in the past I have lied, deceived, and caused pain
still now I do this to this very day
the reason of causing this pain so sad
is that I, in my selfishness, can feel more glad

how do I demonstrate to the one I once loved
that I have been sent an angel from above
allowing me to digest the confusion of life’s ways
providing me the opportunity to begin a new day

I cannot explain through words or in poem
the feelings that in my heart do freely roam
pain heartache anguish hate
these are the costs of the choices I make
love kindness support happiness
these are the results of the actions I take
although on the one side my heart is swollen and bursting
it is the other half that knows that I am traversing

a fresh start I have found
a new companion in hand
one that will help me to overcome sin
will teach me and grow with me
will allow me to win

from confusion, anguish, and deceit
a new man is born to overcome new feats
honesty, humility, repentance divine
these are the characteristics that I WANT to find
I cannot repeat the mistakes I have made
I cannot cause harm to the one I once loved
I therefore must end it

over done final through

the tears are crawling down one cheek, then two
it could have been different if I had once learned
that to love is good, but not enough alone
companionship requires that all that is said
be honest and true no matter how bad

so a fresh start it is with a woman who knows
my flaws, imprefections, and terrible woes
my guilt drove me here, my hunger for pain
but my desire for cleanliness will now reign
my opinion is meaningless
my thoughts incomplete
but the happiness I feel at the sound of her voice
the thoughts of the future that grow with each choice
the opportunities ahead of me lie with her hand

my feelings on paper do not sound real
my feelings inside me show what I feel
the fact I can smile through all this pain I cause
shows me I love her, and life will go on
I hope that in the end the damage is mitigated
so that all who are involved may truly be happy

the soul she has shown
the pain she has shared
the history of her life
her current desires, opinions, and feelings
mirror mine and lead to my desire
she has a history she says, of causing one to leave
I have no history worthy to be shared
my irony is cruel
my heart is bared
placed on an alter, its fate to decide
I hand her the knife trusting in her my life

I know that our future together is bright
the path we must take
however dark the start
will eventually reach a tunnel
and fog will depart
allowing us both to see hand-in-hand
the beauty before us
the light at the end

will it work we ask?
only time will tell
is the pain worth it we ask?
only time will tell
can we throw it all away for the hopes of a perfect dream?
only time will tell

a fresh start is required
a new beginning at hand
the end is behind me the middle ahead
a harshly bumpy ending
a very encouraging beginning
will the fresh start solve this man’s problems?
only time will tell

all that is known is that I love you
I love you more than anything
I love you enough to cause pain and hurt I did not know
I love you
I love you
I love you

my eyes grow wide
my heart slows down
the time has come
I step forward and smile